I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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