i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
