Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
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I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
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What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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