It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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