i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
