My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
