8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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