Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
