so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
