Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
so much tequila, so little girl.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
