I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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