So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I feel like a drive thru vagina
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
