So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
