what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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