hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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