I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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