dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
