When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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