how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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