I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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