Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Randomize
