so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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