I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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