The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
