i just made my gag reflex go away.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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