god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
