Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
