wakey wakey hands off snakey
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
