I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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