There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
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