We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
