super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
