I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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