Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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