Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
