Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize