is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
BRING THE BAGELS
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize
