it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
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