...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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