Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
