OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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