end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
