i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
