Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
