It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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