rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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