I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
