awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Randomize
