Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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