I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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