i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
