i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
