That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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