I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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