so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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