We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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