Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
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