Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Randomize
