hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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