I'd wear matching sweaters with you
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
