her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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