cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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