Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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