yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I have feelings that need drinking.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
